Sunday, May 16, 2010


and not of Miss A, but of the husband.  Today a quick conversation went like this:

husband: tell me you love me.
me: i love you
husband: do you really love me?
me: no (totally sarcastic)
husband: you don't anymore do you?

Now he was half joking....catch the word "half"?  He is feeling neglected.  I don't laugh at his jokes as easily or as often anymore.  I do not stay up late with him to watch movies anymore.  Our conversations mostly center around Avery.  I think he is starting to feel like my roommate more than my husband (you get where I am going with that one?).

I sat and thought about it for a bit.  I realized that I am often rushing through our conversations so I can get on to the next thing.  I have a whole other human being to take care of and that takes a lot of time.  I have been so focused on being mommy that I have forgotten what it is like to be Andrea.  I thought going back to work would help that a bit, but in reality it has only made it worse.  Now I am Mommy and Teacher with a splash of Wife.  And somewhere buried underneath there is Andrea.  Now I understand that Andrea is part of all of those titles, but do you get where I am coming from?

How do I find time to go to work full time, feel satisfied with the amount of love and energy I am giving to Avery, dote on my husband, keep up with the household duties and still find time for ME!  I have been going pretty easy on myself up until this weekend because I knew it was going to take time to adjust, but the combination of Avery turning 6 months next week and the conversation with the husband today really got me concerned that I am not juggling/balancing it all well enough.

Anyone else out there feeling this a bit?


  1. I relate! It really is hard juggling it all, and I don't have the work factor thrown in the mix like you do. I will admit that I had a really hard time finding balance for the first 5 months or so. Everything was about Camden. Other people would talk to me and I'd only half-listen because I'd be thinking about when Camden needing to eat next or nap next. Same went for my husband. Plus, my husband is more of a night owl and I have to go to bed early since Camden wakes up so early and still gets up during the night. It's the only way I can function. I started feeling guilty when I'd go to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night, knowing he'd be up for a few more hours with no company. So, I decided I needed to make a conscious effort. I still go to bed early, but I make sure to spend time with the hubby after Camden goes to sleep (we just had a game night on Saturday...cheesy, but fun). And I make an effort to engage him in conversation that doesn't always center around Camden. It's definitely still a work in progress, but we're getting there and you will too. I think it's just hard as a first time mom to find that perfect balance.

  2. I probably could've written this post. It's so hard to juggle it all and I do feel like I've been mostly mother and hardly any wife lately. It's our first time as mother's so there's a learning curve. I know it probably will never be perfect but eventually we'll get the hang of things (at least I hope!)

  3. Thanks ladies! Kerri- I will try to make an effort to engage the husband in conversation that is NOT just about Avery. Being back at work the last few weeks does give me something besides her to talk about at least. And Spit Happens I agree about the learning curve...quite amazing how much we learn in such a short amount of time!