and not of Miss A, but of the husband. Today a quick conversation went like this:
husband: tell me you love me.
me: i love you
husband: do you really love me?
me: no (totally sarcastic)
husband: you don't anymore do you?
Now he was half joking....catch the word "half"? He is feeling neglected. I don't laugh at his jokes as easily or as often anymore. I do not stay up late with him to watch movies anymore. Our conversations mostly center around Avery. I think he is starting to feel like my roommate more than my husband (you get where I am going with that one?).
I sat and thought about it for a bit. I realized that I am often rushing through our conversations so I can get on to the next thing. I have a whole other human being to take care of and that takes a lot of time. I have been so focused on being mommy that I have forgotten what it is like to be Andrea. I thought going back to work would help that a bit, but in reality it has only made it worse. Now I am Mommy and Teacher with a splash of Wife. And somewhere buried underneath there is Andrea. Now I understand that Andrea is part of all of those titles, but do you get where I am coming from?
How do I find time to go to work full time, feel satisfied with the amount of love and energy I am giving to Avery, dote on my husband, keep up with the household duties and still find time for ME! I have been going pretty easy on myself up until this weekend because I knew it was going to take time to adjust, but the combination of Avery turning 6 months next week and the conversation with the husband today really got me concerned that I am not juggling/balancing it all well enough.
Anyone else out there feeling this a bit?