Tuesday, February 9, 2010

the first 2 1/2 months....

The first two and a half months of motherhood were so damn hard!  Miss A cried a lot!  I thought I would never make it through.  Everyone around me kept saying that the beginning is rough, but that it will be over with sooner than you think.  "Try to enjoy it!"  ENJOY IT???  Were they crazy?  I was sleep deprived, had both mastitis and the stomach flu in the first month and a super fussy baby!  I was frustrated and crying about as much as Miss A was.

Miss A during her super fussy period!

All I wanted was for her to get older faster so that it would be over sooner" than I thought.  One day I saw a little boy sitting in his stroller at the post office as his grandma filled out some paper work.  The boy was just quietly observing what was happening around him.  If that had been Miss A she would have been screaming her head off because a)she doesn't like her carseat which snaps into her stroller and b)she seemed to hate to go out in public.  I just wanted Miss A to be as old as this little boy, who was probably around 9 months.  I am not writing all of this to complain and get a bunch of sympathy, but to let others know that it is super hard to be home alone with a newborn all day long.  And I have a super supportive husband who would jump in and help anytime.  The thing is that many mom's feel pressure to be perfect...do it right and make their babies happy from the get-go.  But really we are learning just like they are.  And of course you are supposed to have patience.  With yourself and your baby.  But it is pretty hard to have patience when you are sleep deprived.

Now there is light at the end of the tunnel...or at least the first tunnel.  Miss A has been great the last couple of weeks.  She is on a more regular sleeping schedule during the day and she is less fussy.  Now she tends to cry only when she has a wet diaper or is hungry.  I mean she still cries for no reason sometimes and I still get frustrated due to lack of sleep, but it is much better than it had been.  I also realize now that I do not want her to be as old as the boy in the post office so quickly.  Look at all that I would be missing.  She is so small and adorable, and this time really is going to go by quickly and never happen again.  I know it has been said a hundred times, but once you start to go through it you understand why all those moms and grandmas keep saying the same things over and over.  So really...try to enjoy it!

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