the park mommies

It has been awhile since I have written.  Lots of reasons.  Working full time-ish is exhausting and draining. I was bored of my posts and really felt like I had nothing to say...again probably due to exhaustion.  But today that changed!  I have something to say...and of course it is an unfortunate event that makes me return to blogging.

We went to the park today, which up until this point I have really enjoyed taking Avery there.  She loves to watch the other kids, swing, and look at the flowers and squirrels.  It also really tires her out and she sleeps much better.  Today we were in need of a trip to the park, as the first 45 minutes of her morning nap were spent crying, playing with her pacifier, standing and crying (yes, she is pulling to standing and it is about the only thing she cares about), saying "uh-oh" (totally adorable), and crying some more.  When she finally fell asleep she only slept for about 30 minutes.  Short story long, we NEEDED the park.

We stopped to get a coffee.  Parked the stroller near the swings.  Played on the swing and watched all the littles play soccer and run around the play structures.  We had a bottle and talked to a really nice couple with a little girl a couple of months younger than Avery.  We played on the structure and this is when it happened.  The "mean mommy" experience.  Now I had yet to encounter the "mean mommy" thing on my own and was really taken aback.  And as I am thinking about what happened, it wasn't even really that "mean," but I was really bothered by it.  So a little girl was interested in Avery.  She came and sat next to us on the structure.  I had seen her walk into the playground with her mom and little sister.  Her mom had seen me, as she set her stuff down next to me while Avery had her bottle.  Avery's hat blew off of her head and the little girl went to get it for us.  As I got up to get off the structure and get it from her, the mom started to bee line for us.  She asked the little girl to go and play with her sister as I waved and said hello.  The woman turned on her heel (seriously) and didn't even acknowledge me.

Now I know there is a chance that she didn't hear me, but I am pretty sure she saw me.  Being very upset by her reaction I started to pack up to go.  Our stuff was right next to where she was sitting.  She never turned to look at me, never smiled, just sat totally stiff, almost as if she was trying really hard not to move and maybe I wouldn't notice her.  I didn't get it.  My stuff was as nice as hers.  I was dressed as well as she was.  I am a clean and pleasant looking person.  What was the problem??

What is even sadder is that I met several very nice moms and families at the park and I am letting this one mom ruin our lovely afternoon.  Maybe now that I have gotten that off my chest I will be able to let it go.

Have any of you ever dealt with a situation like this?  Do you confront it?  Should I have walked right up and introduced myself and told her what a sweet daughter she had?  

almost mobile

Our little Miss A is super close to crawling!  I don't know whether to be excited or scared?!  She does this great rocking back and forth on her hands and knees.  She gets to this position mostly from tummy time.  But the last day or two she is starting to learn to get here from a sitting position.  Any advice what to do besides stand on top of them once they really get going??  How do you get anything done?

I love how her eyes get huge and she sucks her tummy in...she is so concentrated!

happy girl

Inspite of all the craziness going on with feeding, she is still such a happy girl!  This was one of our first trips to a big kid playground and she loved the swings!!

feeding strike

NOTE: I started this post 10 days ago...does that say something about the kind of week and a half I have had?!

The last few days have been extremely trying.  Where to start?

Avery has always been an inefficent eater, at least according to me.  She takes about 30 minutes to eat (breastfeed).  She only empties one breast.  I have always produced ample amounts of milk and this just worked well for us.  Over the last week the amount of time she spent feeding dwindled from 30 minutes down to about 5.  Not so great!  I also have used a nipple shield since she was about 3 weeks old.  She had a hard time latching on and my nipples were dry, cracked, blistered and bloody (sorry if too much info!).  She never minded the sheild.  But over the last week, that too, has become an issue.  At first she would pull it off half way through a feed and then as of a day or two ago she just refused to put her mouth on it at all.  I do not mind not using it, but she has been doing this crazy pulling back while eating without it and it is starting to hurt!  So two days ago I broke down realizing that she was not wanting the breast.  She would take a bottle just fine of my pumped milk.  So no problem right?  Just pump and feed her...except, yup, there is an except!  Except my production was way down due to her not eating long enough, starting to sleep through the night and the start of solids.  So pumping was stressful because I knew I couldn't pump as much as she could get out if she just breast fed.

I ended up talking to both a lactation consultant and her pediatrician.  They both said she was teething and that she would start to feed normally again in some time....some time?  Vague enough for you?  The lactation consultant also said to take More Milk Plus to boost my supply.  I have been taking it for a few days now and not seeing much of a difference.  She also said not to offer the breast for a few days and try again later.  We were trying at least once a day in the morning when it was quiet and there were few distractions, but that didn't even work well.  I was lucky to get her to stay on one side for about 8 minutes.  

This is so stressful.  I remember saying that if I could make it 6 months breast feeding I would be doing great.  Now that Avery is almost 7 1/2 months old I am still loving it and do not want to stop.  I also do not want to do formula until it becomes obvious that I cannot pump enough milk.  I am not knocking formula...I am a formula baby and have many friends who either supplemented with formula or fed their children strictly formula from day one.  And their children are as healthy, if not healthier than Avery.  It is just a personal decision I am making.  We are, however, using formula to mix in with her oatmeal (which by the way, has helped immensely in the pooping arena...again TMI?) so that I am not using my limited amount of breast milk for her solids.

I have been crying for days.  I guess maybe I feel a bit rejected...silly right?  But it is very emotional.  I didn't even realize how much I was bonding with her during feeding time until now that it is gone.  I am sure that it will work itself out, whether that means she breast feeds again or not, I don't know yet.

SECOND NOTE:  Since I started this I have only breast fed once in 8 days.  She was really hungry, just home from a long road trip, and she ate well.  Other than that we are still pumping and feeding from bottles.  I go back to work tomorrow, so she will have mostly bottles again anyway.  I am debating on just making a permanent switch to bottled breast milk and being done with the breast feeding.  Hmmmm.... 

7 months tomorrow

I cannot believe how fast the last 7 months have gone by.  A friend of mine recently said when her son turned 1 year old, "Never has a year with so many long nights passed so quickly."  Isn't that the truth!  Miss A is now sitting up, eating many different solids, about ready to crawl and incredibly social.  She loves the outdoors and meeting new people as long as those people are women - she has something against men who are not her daddy!  She is starting to sleep unswaddled and in a sleep sack on her tummy, a day I thought would never come.  She loves her Maclaren baby backpack, but hates the Ergo and all slings.  She is in love with the baby in the mirror.  She likes to try to kiss and hug her.  I am also the lucky recipient of hugs and kisses making her daddy jealous because he has yet to receive either...poor guy.  But maybe it is because he makes her do things like this...

This is how I found them the other morning after I finished doing the dishes.  Poor thing is being taught to balance checkbooks and pay bills at the ripe old age of 7 months!  I feel so lucky that I have been given another 4 weeks to spend with Miss A.  I am feeling that anxious feeling again as the new school year starts in about 2 weeks!  And again I have to remind myself to enjoy the time I have with her and not stress about the time I do not.

I hope everyone had fun celebrating Father's Day this past weekend.  I know we did!  Happy Monday!

sitting

Look at my big girl!  She sits up for such long periods of time now.  I do not feel like she is strong enough for me to walk away and leave her there to play.  We probably still have a bit of time before that can happen.  But, I am so proud, and as you can see in the first picture, so is she!  I just love when they get excited about their accomplishments.

And she is fascinated with toes.  It all started when Gramma (my MIL) had red toenail polish on and Avery noticed.  Now she notices everyone's toes.  She is constantly trying to get to mine and eat them.  She, of course, doesn't understand how gross that is!  And lately, she has been just as into her colorless toes.

Happy Friday and have a great weekend!

uh-oh!

It's starting already....

the fascination with phones!  Daddy says he caught her on the phone instead of napping!  She actually does look like she got caught doing something she wasn't supposed to do!  Happy Wednesday all!