summer vacation

So obviously being a working mom has limited my ability to keep up with this blog.  I am trying to figure out a way to remedy that!  But right now, it is summer break.  I have the next month off of work with my little Miss A and I am super excited about it.

Why only one month you ask?  Aren't teachers supposed to get three months off?  Well yes, and no.  I work at an extended year school, so we go to school 5 weeks in the middle of summer (yes, extra school).  The students actually attend school about 25 more days a year than traditional schools.  As for us teachers, if we work our 25 summer days, we get to take 25 days off in the regular part of the year (because the district is too cheap to pay us.  Cheaper for them to pay a sub and give us the days off).  But in the case of Miss A, this works brilliantly!  With those 25 days I am able to take most Fridays off during the year to be with her.  A four day work week is nothing to scoff at!

So what plans do we have?  None really.  Just time to hang out and have mini-adventures with my little girl.  Who by the way has 2 teeth, is sitting up, slept through the night (I am talking 10-11 hour stretches) 3 out of the last 4 nights, eating solid food like it is going out of style and bathing on the "toddler" side of her bathtub!  And now that I am off work, maybe I will get a chance to blog about some of those amazing things she is capable of!

neglect

and not of Miss A, but of the husband.  Today a quick conversation went like this:

husband: tell me you love me.
me: i love you
husband: do you really love me?
me: no (totally sarcastic)
husband: you don't anymore do you?

Now he was half joking....catch the word "half"?  He is feeling neglected.  I don't laugh at his jokes as easily or as often anymore.  I do not stay up late with him to watch movies anymore.  Our conversations mostly center around Avery.  I think he is starting to feel like my roommate more than my husband (you get where I am going with that one?).

I sat and thought about it for a bit.  I realized that I am often rushing through our conversations so I can get on to the next thing.  I have a whole other human being to take care of and that takes a lot of time.  I have been so focused on being mommy that I have forgotten what it is like to be Andrea.  I thought going back to work would help that a bit, but in reality it has only made it worse.  Now I am Mommy and Teacher with a splash of Wife.  And somewhere buried underneath there is Andrea.  Now I understand that Andrea is part of all of those titles, but do you get where I am coming from?

How do I find time to go to work full time, feel satisfied with the amount of love and energy I am giving to Avery, dote on my husband, keep up with the household duties and still find time for ME!  I have been going pretty easy on myself up until this weekend because I knew it was going to take time to adjust, but the combination of Avery turning 6 months next week and the conversation with the husband today really got me concerned that I am not juggling/balancing it all well enough.

Anyone else out there feeling this a bit?

back to work

So I officially finished my first week back to work.  And in the end, I am sort of happy that I went back (so far anyway).  Here are a few things that I think helped to make it a smooth transition:

• I was very prepared and planned in advance all the little details that usually trip me up during the week (i.e. dinner menu planned, grocery shopping done, clothes picked out ahead of time, weeks of work planned out (even went in to work the weekend before to do a few things and just soak in the fact that I was going to be back)).
• I found a great babysitter to come to the house.  We did some preliminary meetings so Avery could get used to her.  We did a trial afternoon, where I ran errands in the neighborhood and left the two of them alone.  This way Avery was comfortable and so was I.
• I took Friday off (all Fridays, in fact).  It made the work week bearable to know that it was only 4 days.
• I also created a little "ritual," if you will, for when I get to work that includes my morning cup of coffee (decaf, of course) and breakfast.  It is quiet in the building and nice to have a bit of me time before the day really gets going.  (Why don't I do this at home?  Read my post tomorrow and you will find out!)

Anyway, I know I would rather be with my daughter 24/7, but IF I have to be back at work this is about as good as it gets.  I am surprisingly happy!  Today, my day off, was spent cuddling my little one, baking cookies and napping.  A well deserved day of rest and loves if you ask me!

i am alive

Wow!  That was a long time without blogging.  Sorry about that.  I got so overwhelmed with the idea of going back to work that I sort of stopped doing anything besides hanging out with Miss A.  And then I was consumed with getting prepared to go back to work (planning and prepping lessons) that I didn't seem to have much time to both "work" and hang out with Avery.  And now that I have started work...WOW!  There is so little time to do anything but the everyday routine of getting ready for work, pumping, working,  pumping, spending what little time I have with Avery playing and feeding her, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, pumping some more and then crashing into bed only to get up in the middle of the night for another feed!

I am not sure how I feel about going back to work exactly.  While I am there it feels good, but with this odd sense that I am missing something.  I also feel a bit odd going to work to be with other people's children and hiring someone to be with mine.  Logically (which means financially) I get why I am doing it. But emotionally, it feels strange.  It will definitely take some getting used to, an adjustment period.

I am taking Fridays off so I am looking forward to Friday!  Maybe then, during one of Miss A's naps (because I am not missing a waking minute with her on the computer) I will actually put together a post that makes some sense.  Just thought I should start somewhere before I let the whole thing go!

And here is a fun picture of the little one enjoying her first taste of a popsicle!

Day Care Part 3

So in the last Day Care update I mentioned that a parent of a former student of mine might be interested in watching Miss A starting in mid-August.  (Remember a great girl is going to watch her at our house through the summer - Thank goodness!)  Today I went to meet with her and it went so well.  I am super excited to have Avery hang out with her.  The best part is that when the school has a break or holiday, I do not have to pay if I want to keep Avery at home.  She wants to be with HER children on those days, just like I WANT to be with MINE!  It is all working out better than I could have ever imagined.

I only have about 2 more weeks before I go back to work and am sad about it, but trying to enjoy the time I have left with her.  I just remind myself that I am only working 4 days a week, her dad will be with her on Mondays and I get home around 3:30.  I will have to let you know how the transition goes.  Cross your fingers for smoothly!

on returning to work

So the countdown begins.  I have three weeks today before I have to go back to work.  I am feeling anxious and unsure about the whole thing.  I really LOVE my job.  I teach 2nd grade.  BUT I REALLY LOVE Miss A ( a whole lot more than my job, obviously).  But it has been made clear that I am to go back.  I am not sure what to expect.  I have done a few things over the last couple of days to start to prepare.

• I have planned every outfit for the 5 weeks that I am back to work before a short Summer Break because I will be getting up super early to get to work by 6am so that I can get home by 3pm.  Sounds a bit silly, I know, but my whole morning can go South if I do not know what I am wearing ahead of time. 
•  I have also made a menu for those 5 weeks so I do not have to think about what is for dinner.  This also helps me make the grocery list for the week so that I do not put off going on the weekend.
• I have made the babysitter a list of important phone numbers in case of emergency.

Does anyone have any other suggestions on preparing myself and my home to go back to work?  I would love some advice!